Control or Growth?

You can have control, or you can have growth…but you can’t have both!

Control [kon troll]

1. To regulate, restrain, correct, or restore to normal.
2. The governing or limitation of certain objects or events.
3. To hold in restraint; check.
4. To reduce or prevent the spread of.
5. To exercise restraint or maintain influence over a situation.

Growth [groTH]

1. The progressive development of a living thing.
2. Development from a lower or simpler to a higher or more complex form.
3. Cell expansion. Cells must be able to synthesize new structures that are manufactured from raw materials derived from their immediate environment.
4. An increase, as in size, number, value, or strength; extension or expansion.
5. Development from a simpler to a more complex stage.

It seems odd, when faced with the above definitions, that we spend so much time arguing for “control.”  We want control of our environment.  Control of our lives.  Control of others.  Control, control, control.

Now, look at the definition of “growth.”  Development, expansion, increase, and more complex are all terms use to define growth.  Yet, how often do we talk about what we do or what we want in terms of growth?

Take the first definitions of each.  Can you “restore to normal” and “progressively develop” at the same time?  Can you “reduce or prevent the spread of” and “increase in size, number, value or strength” concurrently?  Can you have both control and growth?

The reality is that control is safe, and known, and predictable, and manageable.  Growth can be daunting, and unknown, and unpredictable, and troublesome.  This is why many people default to “control” – it’s simply easier.

I will have you consider that the more that we try to exert control, the more that we limit growth.  The more I try to “control” my kids, the less opportunity for development and expansion (growth) I give them.  If someone is putting their effort into controlling an environment, they may be able to restrain, regulate, or restore it to “normal,” but the cost is progression, development, and expansion.

Look hard at these words and think about where in your life are you focused on control instead of growth?  What do you really want to be able to say when you look back at your work, your family, and your life…”I really controlled those things well.” Or, “My work, family, and life was all about growth.”